A Normal Relationship….?


On the bus to work yesterday I overheard two girls talking. I turned my music up really loud to try to block out what they were saying but even so, their words made it through to my brain and I’ve been pondering them ever since.

They had read an article in a magazine about a woman who had a physically abusive partner. It turned out though that ‘all’ he did was pin her against the wall on a regular basis while screaming abuse at her.

The girls were laughing about it, about how that wasn’t abuse but part of a normal relationship.

One of them was saying that her boyfriend was always doing that to her but it was ok because she knew he loved her, and the woman in the magazine should ‘get over herself’ and ‘be grateful she’s got a man’.

I can’t help but feel the two girls are destined for a life of domestic violence…

Relationships should be built on mutual trust and respect not violence and shouting.

They were only kids themselves, somewhere between the ages of 16-18 but even so, surely anyone can see that situations like that are wrong and shouldn’t be excused. I brought it up with my 13 year old daughter last night and she agreed with me (which, I feel I should point out, is not a normal occurrence at all). What has happened to those two girls to make them think it’s normal? How messed up are we as a race that behaviour like this is considered the norm?

And the question that scares me the most? Are we too far gone to recover?

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4 thoughts on “A Normal Relationship….?

  1. As bleak as my words may sound, we are too late to recover in my opinion…

    I hypothesize this has to do a lot with media, easy access to dating sites, low self esteem and in particular music. Movies and music have a way of programming impressionable young minds and minds that are unaware. Music and movies has a way of planting the seed of romance in the unaware mind. All these songs in the world hyping up unrealistic delusions of romance is a problem in my opinion. These girls, for various reasons think they need a man in their life when instead they should be focused on getting a self sustaining career.

    I have seen this played out over and over again in the clubs and in my own daughter and her friends. The sad thing is, I can’t save her or the friends of hers, they don’t want to here it…

    Excellent thought provoking post. 🙂

    • Thank you so much for your comment. I have to admit I think we may be too late too. The ‘norm’ these days seems to be the unacceptable, the rude and often the illegal.
      Maybe we are on a downward spiral. I hope that once we reach the bottom we can claw ourselves back up.

  2. Wow! Thats a shame that the two young ladies where in abusive relationships without even knowing. Whether they realize it or not the yelling and screaming from their boyfriend is going to have an effect. Very sad 😦

    • The fact that they were mocking somebody else who, in the same situation, found the courage to get out.
      Normally when I write a blog post it’s almost like a release. Whatever inspired it fades away once I’ve got the words out. Unfortunately this one is staying with me.
      I just hope the girls realise the truth of what’s going on before they trap themselves into a lifetime of abuse.

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