What is that saying? Something about “the best laid plans of mice and men often go astray“? Or we could go with “the Devil laughs when we make plans“. Either way, it’s clear that plans are not always meant to come to fruition. So why am I beating myself up so much that mine haven’t?
I didn’t plan to be a single mother. That was never part of the design I had in store for myself. I don’t begrudge that I am, I just acknowledge that it’s not the way I intended motherhood to be. When my marriage ended rather rapidly, I came to the eventual conclusion that from then on I would be in charge of my own destiny. Cheesy, I know. But I figured I could finally make my own decisions, follow my own path. Live my life how I wanted to, instead of living to somebody else’s plan.
Of course looking back now I can see this was idealistic and naive. To live life in that way I assume you need to either remove yourself from society and live ‘off the grid’, or have enough money and influence that nothing can make you deviate from your destination.
I, sadly (or happily, depending on how you look at it), fall into neither of those groups. And recently I’ve been forced to accept just how much my plans can be scuppered by other people. I didn’t plan to be unemployed right now. I didn’t plan to move this year (or in the next 2 or 3).
So it’s a time for change. A time to forget the old plans and build new ones. Whatever my plans are, I know fate has it all laid out for me. I shouldn’t be sad that life isn’t going according to my plan, because I’d obviously planned down the wrong path.
I know it will all make sense one day.